Value

Sometimes, do you get the feeling that people don't give you the credit that you (Think) you deserve?

I feel as though I am lost in Wonderland, but unlike Alice, I fear I will never wake up.......

I've lost it...

You know what? I've totally lost myself. Somewhere along the line, I accidentally let loose of the fine threads that were holding me together. Any sense I had of what I am exactly - who I am, exactly - all gone.

I realize this through reflection upon the interactions I have had with people this past week. I see that every word I say, every move I make, is utterly contrived and devoid of substance. And these shallow displays are painting a rather dismal picture of who I am - this is not who I am, this is just things I say, things I do...but they are not me...

I have let the stupid side of me overtake any other factor of my being....I have let myself become a hollow shell..

What my family see of me is this happy, light-hearted daft sprite, illuminated by my crazy drunk antics and random ramblings. Which, for face value, is good I suppose...but no one sees what lies beneath these layers I present to the world.

I am so tired of people not knowing me.

But, ah! There is the rub, for I do not know myself anymore, so how can they know me...perhaps, I will come across someone who sees as much as I do, but is not muted by the ward of silence, and they can help me remember...

Ahhhh, well....credit shmedit.....